Old ladies are cool

I love old people...they say some of the funniest things!

The other day I'm walking out of the grocery store and I get behind this old lady as I'm walking out of the store. It's one of those akward situations where the person in front of you is walking super slow and you want to pass them but there's not really enough room to get around them without making it very clear you think they are too damn slow. So anyway, I decide to just slow it down and wait the extra 30 seconds it'll take me to get to my car. The lady starts moving slower and slower and all of a sudden stops. The whole time she was looking through one of her grocery bags for something apparently b/c when she stops she kind of pushes the bag away and says, "Shit! MotherF*cker!" my jaw dropped! Did she just say what I think she said? This little old lady needs her mouth washed out with soap!

Last night I was flipping through t.v. and stop on this show called "rollergirls". I find the show interesting b/c I've always liked skating and have always thought of myself as pretty tough, so rollerderby seems like a pretty cool thing to me. Maybe I'll start a rollerderby league here in a city that will remain anonimous, indiana. The rollerderby girls are meeting some old lady who participated in rollerderby for SEVEN generations! Holy Cow! She is their idol and they are all giving her hugs and she tells the girls to be gentle because they might make her false eye ball fall out. It was funny. This lady was also wearing the most gaudy pair of sunglasses I've ever seen. They were huge black glasses with all this gold I don't even know on top of them. She seemed like a cool old lady.

My final old lady story is about my grandma. My grandma is the coolest old lady ever. She is in her early 90's now and is still kicking ass. My grandma is so awesome, she still mows her own lawn...even in the middle of the summer! My grandma also loves playing mario brothers. I remember her playing it a little with us when we were younger. But my ma revealed to me fairly recently that when we were kids and we'd head off to school her and my g-ma would play mario bros. and dr. mario for hours! Here's the coolest thing though about my grandma... she has a Shit List! She is a hardcore democrat (loves JFK and Bill) and as she gets older she talks politics more and more, so whenever we chat I know that i'll hear knock on George W. I don't mind listening. One time I'm chatting w/her and I say "so how's it going grandma" and she says "well honey, I'm mad at president bush" and then goes on to tell me exactly why she's mad...finally she says "you know what, he's at the top of my shit list right now!" I was like "Grandma! You have a shit list!?" She just responded with her cute grandma laugh. I love my grandma!